Alcohol
The English Longitudinal Study of Ageing found that better health and education were positively associated with an increased risk of harmful levels of drinking among older people. There are, clearly, two ways to deal with this information. One is – if you’ll pardon the pun, and there’s no reason you should – soberly. To say “My goodness! I shall put the cork back in the bottle, the cap back on my hip flask and a stopper on my flagon of Old Toejam! Life is a brief and easily inglorious span and I wish not to truncate it any sooner than necessary through the mindless ingestion of socially acceptable but nevertheless toxic substances! And while I’m at it, bring me some of this kale and Pilates I’ve been hearing so much about!”
The other is to polish off your glass of Merlot and either dismiss the latest middle-class boozing scare as the result of a study clearly sponsored by Big Neurosis or exclaim “Too right, doc!” and get one of your fellow graduates of '85, with whom you are dining out on the terrace, to pour you another. Because the point – nay, the very definition – of being middle class is being allowed to do as you will with your own body because that body is no trouble to anyone else. Sober, it goes to work, saves for its pension, keeps its home nice, supports its aged parents and pours its love and energy into bringing up its offspring so that they can do all of the same in their turn. Drunk, it doesn’t go out and puke all the way down the high street or beat anyone up. It barely moves off the terrace until it’s time to call a cab or stump upstairs to bed. Worst case scenario, it pees in the airing cupboard and earns a slap from its wife the next morning. Or, if female, has a cry about how much it loves the cat/misses its children and gets an eyeroll/hug from its husband. Either way, very little social fabric is rent.
