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advertising is a strange world

everything you've read about advertising being a shithole you can't get out of is absolutely true

on msn

me: what does it mean when someone says @|@?
jr: it means Penis.
me: no it can't be, my freelance illustrator wouldn't say Penis to me.
jr: that's definitely like two balls and a penis.
me: no way!
jr: do people draw their noses pointing upwards? i dont think so...
me: thats horrendous! but why would my nice and well-mannered illustrator say PENIS out of nowhere?? to me?? suddenly?
me: hang on merv is telling me that it isn't a penis after all
me: oh. wait, now merv says he'll draw one with the keyboard
me: okay he's still working on his masterpiece
me: alright now he's really drawn one.
me: ....why did i even ask.

on prescription drugs being (ab)used in the office

valium, xanax, asprin, prozac, etc...

list of items which have fallen from the ceiling recently:

  1. pieces of the ceiling
  2. water from aircon pipes
  3. pieces of the adjacent wall
  4. soft toys which have been strung up to the rafters

on social media specialists

he had gone on all night long about digital media and social networks.
i told him i was more interested in interactive design and multi-touch panels.
we went to the bar, he bought me a gin and tonic, and we made out.
"but wait," he said, as i was leaving, "what's your name? how will i find you again?"
"well, you can go and find me on LinkedIn, can't you, Mr Social Media Specialist?"

on the unruly behaviour of interns

"hey i just made you a dice out of some white clay. here take it."
(holding the dice)
"um.... why is it so sticky?"